CHANGE IS COMING!

It has been quite some time since this site has updated. There have been a few changes that have severely crunched my time, but fear not, "The Conquest of Gaul" will continue publishing until doing so is no longer feasible, or I get bought out by Huffington Post (please, send me an offer).

To start, there will definitely be an Albums list this year, don't worry. It's my favorite post to write every year, and it's already being compiled.

As to the forthcoming changes, here's a list. First, the "bad":

• Fewer album reviews (weekly updates are hard to write when you can't listen to everything)
• No more daily sports updates. I know they died a while ago, but they became quite tedious

Now, the new stuff:

• More media to be covered, including but not limited to film, literature, and video games
• Music and film analyses on various topics
• More lists! Everyone loves lists!

Coming Soon:

• The Best Albums of 2016
• The Best Movies of 2016
• Great Albums vs. Albums with Great Songs (titles are hard, okay)
• The Underappreciated Art of Sound Mixing

I'm really looking forward to the new format, and I hope you are too. So welcome back to the COG, the internet's best distraction from the mundane world of underemployment!

New Music (9.23.2016)

Preoccupations
Preoccupations

When Viet Cong announced they would change their name, the music world waited--for over six months--with bated breath, to hear what the new name would be. Unfortunately, it's not a particularly compelling name, though it is a huge middle finger to everyone who stood and protested outside their early live shows.

But let's table the name change--one that makes the band seem more like 80's new-wave than the noisy, dark, post-punk revival it really is--for now. Instead, let us examine the genius of subtle songwriting, wall of dark ambiance, and flood of emotional messages conveyed in their most recent album.

I could do a whole post about the song "Memory" alone, which is so fantastic and epic that it's already been shortlisted (by me) as the best song of the year. Its 11-minute run time may put some people off, but it really shouldn't. Preoccupations use this length brilliantly, combining several movements, an emotional roller coaster, and the exquisite upbeat Echo-and-the-Bunnymen-esque sound counterpointing the very gloomy (though pleasantly delivered) lyrics. Even the four-plus minutes of guitar drones that mark the end of the song are entirely compelling.

Other standouts include singles "Anxiety" and "Degraded," the first of which opens the album beautifully, and reopens a subject the band dwelled on throughout their last album: the anxiety and pressure forced on us by everyday life. The second is a Protomartyr-style romp that will have you wondering if you should dance, or stand in the corner and mutter Nietzsche.

It's not often an act gets the chance to have two different self-titled albums (unless they're Peter Gabriel), but this band has made the best of both. Preoccupations is a harrowing, ferocious record that is joyfully alive, despite being...ahem...preoccupied, with more dismal themes.

New Music (9.19.2016)

Nick Cave &
The Bad Seeds
Skeleton Tree

It is a terrible truth in this unforgiving world: tragedy inspires the best art. In July of last year, Nick Cave's son, Arthur, fell from a cliff while vacationing and, sadly, succumbed to his injuries. A year later, Skeleton Tree provides a beautiful eulogy, a treatise on the transition between life and death, and a heartbreaking tapestry for the ripples of catastrophe.

Cave and company are no strangers to making excellent music; the man can find inspiration basically anywhere. But when given a tragic base on which to stand, the group's already well-built songs begin to tower into a skyscraper. This is their Automatic for the People, that album that proves a band, though already great, can become even greater, and make a lasting impact on the musical landscape.

Skeleton Tree is dark (it should be), but it's not just a passing mood or a thin veil; the pervasiveness of its tone is deep, sticking to your bones and making you ache. Few songwriters have that kind of power, the power of forced-empathy. With Skeleton Tree, as with all Bad Seeds (and Birthday Party, and Grinderman) albums, you don't just listen to Nick Cave, you are Nick Cave, his every word projected from your mind. He the emotive telepath, you the acquisitive conduit.

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On a lighter note, I have been quite busy recently and have not had the time to write many of the reviews I would like, so here's a short list with other albums you should definitely check out...

Schoolboy Q
Blank Face LP

This is better than anything Kanye's done in years.

Frank Ocean
Blonde

Yes, I know the cover doesn't have an 'e.' By the way, how have you not listened to this already?

Vince Staples
Prima Donna

The rising star in rap creates another excellent album.

Angel Olsen
My Woman

A bracing mix of folk-country and riot grrrl rock. Strange, I know, but so very much necessary.

New Music (8.19.2016)

Crystal Castles
Amnesty (I)

This site has remained dormant for a while, but if there's anything that can wake the sleeping giant, it is the ear-shattering, glitch perfection that is Crystal Castles. Sure, it's not the same CC we're all used to hearing (the high-profile, and contentious split between Ethan Kath and original singer Alice Glass was...let's just call it misanthropic at best), but this new version is as loud, dark, and ready to strobe your earballs as ever before.

The sounds have continued to evolve since (III), which itself was a very different sound for the band, specifically in that they ditched their usual 8-bit instruments for a more Lynchian approach. So does Amnesty (I) eschew the old formulas and create new--a new sound for a new band.

As for the new singer, Edith Frances, she picks up where Glass left off admirably. I'm not saying you won't notice the difference; each vocalist has her own style and delivery; but Frances' fits nicely into the space the new sound carves out.

The mysteries of how Crystal Castles get their sound are probably best left unsolved. Many of the songs from this album clearly come from depths beyond human comprehension, but not only does that make for compelling listening, it proves their willing to go to any lengths to advance their art. Crystal Castles' past is not without some seriously harsh turmoil, but if there's anyone who can take your mind off Frank Ocean's constant dicking around, it's these veterans of sonic wars.

The Best Albums of 2016...So Far

The year is only half-over, but it's six long months until actual lists come out. I say, why wait? There's been plenty of great music so far, so let's start objectifying it as soon as possible.

The Top 10 Albums of 2016, So Far

10. Whitney
Light Upon the Lake

While Whitney's debut might not seem like it's inventing anything new, it's hard to argue about their creating a sound that's exactly right for the place and time--a vintage-toned summertime album that may very well prove to be timeless. Tracks like "Golden Days" and "Dave's Song" combine fragile longing with smart songwriting to make the kind of record you can easily listen to three or four times without even noticing.

9. Paul Simon
Stranger to Stranger

Simon's return to album-making sees him creating some of his most interconnected and self-contained songwriting worlds. To say he's anything less than an utter genius would be an insult to music itself, and Stranger to Stranger, is as challenging, odd, and thoroughly enjoyable as anything he's ever done. This is a showcase of the very best from an artist who refuses to be ordinary or to pigeonhole himself.

8. Swans
The Glowing Man

Our list may have started with two albums under 35 minutes each, but get ready for a two-hour mammoth journey into the insane. The Glowing Man is Swans' latest--and supposedly last--album, a visceral test of the musicians' abilities to continuously inspire while deafening, and a test of the listeners' abilities to stave-off exhaustion and madness, or perhaps embrace it.

7. Chance the Rapper
Coloring Book

Chance the Rapper's third mixtape fulfills all the promises Kanye's The Life of Pablo failed to uphold. An intriguing and surprisingly beautiful combination of African-American church traditions and Chance's own brand of acid rap, Coloring Book subtly chronicles black history and uses it as a springboard for imaginative and truly incomparable creativity. Richly composed and rewarding multiple listens, Coloring Book is a transcendent addition to an amazing artist's already highly unique catalogue.

6. ANOHNI
Hopelessness

Anohni's debut solo effort is incredibly morbid, especially if you focus just on the thematic material. However, if anyone can make drone bombings, polar ice melt, mass graves, and discrimination against racial, ethnic, and sexual minorities sound beautiful, it's the artist formerly known as Antony Hegarty. Anohni's hiring of electronic artists Oneohtrix Point Never and Hudson Mohawke is a brilliant move, and their combined talents truly turn what would otherwise be a dreary tone poem into a gorgeous ode to the apocalypse.

5. Sturgill Simpson
A Sailor's Guide to Earth

It's been a long time since I thought country music could be inspiring or emotionally gripping, but Sturgill Simpson's third solo album is just that. A concept album centering around both his short-lived naval career and the birth of his first child--a literal guide, by a sailor, instructing how to live life fully and completely and navigate the world. But this navigation isn't by the stars, it's interpersonal. A Sailor's Guide to Earth is an eye-opening and wholly moving experience.

4. Beyoncé
Lemonade

Enough has been said about the subject matter and boldness of Beyoncé's Lemonade, but have we dissected it in terms of a brilliantly titled work? This is the product made from the "lemons" of infidelity and broken trust; you know...lemonade. And not only is the subtle use of just the one word an ingenious decision of syntax, but it also perfectly describes the music contained within: sweet, sour, refreshing, sophisticated. Beyoncé has never sounded like this.

3. Car Seat Headrest
Teens of Denial

Car Seat Headrest has been self-producing music for as long as I've been managing this blog, but Teens of Denial is their first professionally recorded and produced album, and goddamn is it amazing. If you claim to like any music from about 1990 to today, this is for you. "Destroyed by Hippie Powers" could recall the best of Weezer, make Pearl Jam good again, and raise Kurt Cobain from the dead. And that's just one song; there's another 65 minutes of grungy, guitar-shredding music after that.

2. Kendrick Lamar
untitled unmastered.

At this point, Kendrick can do no wrong. The songs might not have discernible titles, but does it matter? Lamar is so creative, inventive, and original it almost makes you feel dumb listening to it, with every note putting you in your place. Every sound he engineers--be it words or music--is ambrosia for the ears. For being "unmastered," this sure is well-produced, mixed, written, and performed. Kendrick Lamar just blew away the competition...again...with what is essentially a b-sides compilation.

1. David Bowie
Blackstar

Was there any doubt this would be #1? Barring any massively brilliant releases between now and December 31st, it will probably stay here. And no, it's not just because Bowie, the most inventive and challenging artist to grace the pop-music world, sadly and suddenly passed within days of this album's release. It's also because it ranks among his greatest work in a career filled with "best-of-all-time" entries. It's also because the album was so expertly designed to help Bowie and his fans cope with his death. To be so frank and raw about one's own imminent demise is harsh, but somehow also very enlightening. With brilliant production and tight, almost claustrophobic work by a massively talented jazz ensemble, Bowie makes himself appear a gorgeous specter and presents a beautiful last love letter to the world. Somewhere in the greater universe, he's travelling the stars he so often sang of.

How doth the hero strong and brave, a celestial path in the heavens pave.

New Music (7.01.2016)

Bat for Lashes
The Bride

Not to immediately begin writing in the first person, but I have been waiting for this album with such immense anticipation I'm not really sure what to say.

The Bride is Bat for Lashes' (real name: Natasha Khan) fourth album, and it is an ethereal masterpiece. While it might not have the instantaneous impact of Two Suns or The Haunted Man, its sound alone will transport you to another realm, where you are certain you are watching Khan's fictional story-line play out in front of you.

For those of you who haven't been following every single press release surrounding this album like I have, the mini-opera goes something like: girl falls for boy, boy dies on the way to marry girl, girl weaves through a series of transcendent experiences to overcome her grief and come out a better person on the other side.

And the experience truly is transcendent. While the first six songs (the first half of the album) contain every promotional single, the entire tale must be heard all together, with the second half creating ghostly soundscapes which serve as mesmerizing backdrops for our heroine's trip to self-discovery.

As tragedy turns to realization, and actualization, the songs turn from pop-ready to hauntingly experimental; from Goldfrapp to Perfume Genius. In fact, much of The Bride is very similar to Mike Hadreas' brilliant Too Bright, in that the occasional flash of radio-ready populism like his "Queen" or "Grid" is surrounded by ambient keyboards on "Fool" or more appropriately, "I'm a Mother." Here, Khan's sales pitch is "In God's House," or "Sunday Love," both fantastic songs to be sure, but they're counterpointed by double-take laboratories of sound like "Close Encounters" and album closer "Clouds."

The Bride's most familiar sound will probably come from "Joe's Dream," which has all the hallmarks of the Bat for Lashes sound: deeply affecting vocals, intense strings, and a subtle-yet-captivating beat. The previously mentioned "Sunday Love" is very much akin to The Haunted Man's "All Your Gold," in that, despite its lyrical content, it's very much upbeat, fast-paced, and clearly heading for the mainstream.

But then there's "In God's House" and "Honeymooning Alone." The former I personally have been in awe with since it was originally released as the lead single. It's driving synth bass and almost-creepy tone are so very anti-BfL it's astonishing. It's unlike anything Khan's done before, and her repertoire is now even greater for it.

The latter might be the best song she's written (other than "Daniel" or "Marilyn" or "Deep Sea Diver"). "Honeymooning Alone" is so incredibly dense with new sounds previously unused by Khan that it's like listening to a different artist completely. The closest comparison I can make is Portishead, in that it's very trip-hop and reminds me of their masterpiece, Third, and it's opening track, "Silence."

The single-ready songs immediately drop off into the slow burn of "Never Forgive the Angels," Khan's angriest, and least subtle track yet, before delving into the out-of-tune instruments backing "Close Encounters," the ASMR and drone of "Widow's Peak," and the inspirational high-point of "If I Knew."

We end with the beautifully rendered "Clouds," a song so perfectly gorgeous it challenges every other Bat for Lashes closer for the title of "most jaw-dropping musical arrangement." As always,  Khan's voice is spectacular in her higher register, and is impeccably accompanied by a lonely guitar and slightly distressing synth moans. This is the fairy tale ending our Bride has been seeking, even though it's not the one she planned. A tearful acceptance that grief is a part of life, and that living through it is what gives our existence meaning.

To be sure, The Bride is hard work. It is not a piece you go into casually, nor will your journey through it be without turmoil and hardship. But much like the main character of this audio-play, your traversing the entire course is not only worth the reward, but will transform you into a stronger person. Khan's work with Bat for Lashes has always aimed to tell stories in the most emotionally direct way, and in this epic tale she does so with tactics and techniques that make you strive to reach that same happily ever after.

New Music (6.24.2016)

Swans
The Glowing Man

As I write, non-euclidean beings from an ungodly dimension are flying overhead, trying to consume us all. They feel only enmity for this  plane, us as a species, and me as an individual. They are only doing their duty, as the prophecy was delivered from Yog-Sototh, a congeries of iridescent globes. Most of them, I have no doubt, possess no concept of empathy, and defy the corporeal laws of this realm, dreaming only of emotionless homicide. They bear many names, are of different groups, they are made of the elements yet transcend them: hidden in the depths, primal lurkers beyond time; the horrible survivors of distant eons.

I should unmask. Indeed it is time, for all have laid aside disguise but I. I wear no mask.

In his house at R'lyeh, dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.

New Music (6.10.2016)

This past week, a few very interesting albums came out. We'll try to cover each with a short blurb. Let's get started.

The Kills
Ash & Ice

The highlight of this week is the Kills' first album in five years, Ash & Ice.  This is more for personal music taste reasons, but it sure was nice to see a return to Midnight Boom form after the experimental slog that was 2011's Blood Pressures. The beats are hard, the guitar is jangling, the bass is driving, and Alison Mosshart's vocals are more visceral and urgent than ever.

Of course, singles "Doing It to Death" and "Heart of a Dog" are instant Kills classics, but so are deeper cuts like the viciously fun "Bitter Fruit," the slow burn of "Days of Why and How," and ultra-intense album closer "Whirling Eye." The entire experience is equal parts goth dance party and hand-clapping arena rock, and the combination is highly addictive.

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Paul Simon
Stranger to Stranger

The prolific and ingenious singer-songwriter is back for a thirteenth studio album, and it's by a wide margin the most interesting collection of sounds this year.

Most of the time when you see acts of Simon's...ahem...stature ("old", I mean "old"), like the Springsteens and U2's of the world (yes, I know they are later but the point will be made) you'll see great reviews of mediocre-or-worse music just because they're them. I'm positive Rolling Stone Magazine's policy is "if they were popular at anytime during the 70's give them 5 stars, even if it's the worst slop ever shat onto a recording studio floor."

Such is most definitely not the case here. Simon brings all of his talents to bear with full force: the snappy use of homemade percussion instruments, the sardonic lyrical witticisms, the jazzy use of backing wind instruments, and the perfectly plucked guitars. I'm not saying Baby Boomers will ever get their kids or...jeez...grandkids to like "old" music, but this could take a huge leap forward.

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Whitney
Light Upon the Lake

If anything came out of the Smith Westerns or it's breakup, it would be this album. Whitney's debut, Light Upon the Lake, is like a classic rock flashback, like Kevin Parker dreaming about ELO. While I'm not ready to dub this band the next Tame Impala, it certainly sounds like that band's first album: crisp, vivid, easygoing, and on a small scale, flawless.

Light Upon the Lake won't make a big splash anywhere, but in its humble, low-key approach, it finds something close to perfection. Directors making period movies about the late 60's will accidentally use this for every montage or poolside romance. Nothing here is reinventing the wheel, but wheels work pretty well already. So keep on keepin' on, roll those car windows down, and let that summer air remind you life is good.

New Music (5.27.2016)

Car Seat Headrest
Teens of Denial

Have you ever heard a song, then needed to hear it again every couple of hours? Teens of Denial, the second album of Car Seat Headrest's post-Bandcamp career, is filled with those: from the Strokes-inspired "Drunk Drivers/Killer Whales," to the Parquet-Courts-esque "Connect the Dots," to the Pearl Jam callback of "Destroyed by Hippie Powers," songwriting and execution combine for an addictive experience.

If you liked any music at all in the 90's or early 2000's, you will absolutely love Teens of Denial, as I do. This is the best album of the year so far not written by David Bowie, by a wide margin. The range of influences on showcase are vast and inclusive: there's the previously mentioned Strokes, Parquet Courts, and Pearl Jam; there's dance-y punk like you would hear from LCD Soundsystem or Beck; regular punk you might get from old Green Day or new Cloud Nothings. There's so much to choose from.

But don't fear that list; Car Seat Headrest and its founder, Will Toledo, don't drown in their influences. Instead, they perform a glorious synchronized swimming routine within them. Teens of Denial is like a greatest hits of everything you actually liked on rock radio growing up (if you're from my generation that is: borderline Y-millennial).

And now it's time to talk about one of the best songs of this year and several years, the aforementioned "Destroyed by Hippie Powers." This is masterful song construction and performance: the Julian Casablancas vocal delivery, the grunge guitars that swell in and out like the Pixies at their best, the screamed ending that would make Kurt Cobain jealous, the massive sound of the intro and outro where fuzzed-out reverb combines with drums to sound like a full orchestra. The sheer awesomeness is so beautiful to my alt-rock-loving ears, I want to fall to my knees and cry.

Teens of Denial is the album grunge lovers have been waiting for since Soundgarden broke up (the first time) plus more. It's so incredibly well crafted and carefully structured that not a single moment of the album goes by without demanding your complete attention--and it sounds so damn good, you'll want to give it.

Now let's go crowd surf and smash our instruments.

New Music (5.23.2016)

Chance the Rapper
Coloring Book

Whether it's by choice or just an indicator of how very, very sad the record industry has become, Chance the Rapper is still self-releasing his jaw-dropping mixtapes. I suspect it's the former, because if no one has signed this guy for...I literally can't think of a reason, but I'll sign him right now, and I don't even have a label, or money, or contacts, or recording equipment.

As if his last mixtape, Acid Rap, didn't do the job, Coloring Book is here to put other rappers on notice, that Chance is a hip-hop force to be reckoned with. And unlike Kanye's sub-par Life of Pablo, which claimed to be "a gospel album with cursing on it," but wasn't even close, Chance's third actually is.

Thematically, Coloring Book is different from anything else Chance has done. While his previous efforts included quite a few odes to drugs and doing them, his allusions here are just that--metaphors replacing drugs for relationship problems and loss.  His vocals are elastic and taut, brilliantly graceful, and full of sound collages that pay homage to the art of spoken word.

Coloring Book is one of the best rap albums in recent years, easily comparable to Kendrick Lamar's brilliant To Pimp a Butterfly. But while that comparison may seem trite, know that the constant conversations with God and musings on transcendence make it impossible not to.  This is the album Kanye wishes he made.

Coloring Book is available on Apple Music. You can stream it here.

New Music (5.13.2016)

Anohni
Hopelessness

Despite being one of the world's best singers, somehow Anohni (formerly Antony Hegarty, of Antony and the Johnsons) has never had a solo album. It seems impossible: certainly with the sheer amount of output, in combination with the almost-sickening beauty of her voice, there must have been solo work in there somewhere.

While this "debut" of sorts may have been a long time coming, it more than makes up for it with ingenious songwriting and brilliant execution. On top of Anohni's gorgeous singing is her brilliant choice of producers and co-writers: Hudson Mohawke and Oneohtrix Point Never. The three combine to make beautiful, electronic noise, propping up a message about the decline and fall of Western Civilization that's surprisingly uplifting.

And that is the main takeaway from Hoplessness; it's not hopeless. If anything, the album posits that while the world crumbles, that is when humanity is at its best. Sure, there are bad people who do bad things, but this life is also full of light. As Explosions in the Sky once said, "the Earth is not a cold, dead place," and Anohni continues that sentiment: in a world full of hopelessness, we should be anything but.

New Music (5.11.2016)

James Blake
The Colour in Anything

The surprise release of James Blake's third full-length album came at exactly the right time: the middle of what may turn out to be a month-long soaking rain shower that would give Noah hydrophoby. And while The Colour in Anything may have had us waiting for what seemed like an eternity, it show us that Blake's brand of gloomy, post-dubstep soul is only getting better with age.

Blake is at his best here, making vocal loops and layers that are only comparable to his own "Retrograde." And on this album, he overdrives his synth and electronics use to gorgeous effect: his maximalist approach to The Colour in Anything is so appropriate in its ability to highlight his otherwise dreary tone, it could be a suitor in a Jane Austen novel.

A few critics are tuning out the album as not being cohesive, as Blake's 2013 Overgrown was. But Overgrown was actually the outlier in his work. No other album or EP flowed or had one set, standard theme. You can't keep James Blake in a box, dammit! His strength is experimentation and providing the listener an aural cornucopia: some songs are upbeat, some are sad; some songs are overfull with beats and loops, some are just a piano and Blake's resplendent voice.

The Colour in Anything is also brilliant at highlighting Blake's many influences over the past three years. "Choose Me" sounds like a chamber choir deconstructing a Perfume Genius song. "I Need a Forest Fire," uses Bon Iver's collaboration to the maximum possible. The title track--a simple voice and piano tune--is not only beautiful, but also points to his long musical affair with Feist. And while "Love Me in Whatever Way" sounds like classic James Blake, it also accentuates how operatic and colorful he can make a simple electronic beat and looped vocal.

Blake's third album may be long, and it may not flow, but he hasn't released anything better, and that's saying a lot considering he's already won one Mercury Prize and been nominated for another. The Colour in Anything is a message to those thinking grey skies follow them everywhere: even in the dead of winter, even in a hurricane, the day is bright and full of grandeur.

New Music (5.06.2016)

Beyoncé
Lemonade

In her most subtle (musically, not thematically) turn, Queen Bey weaves a beautiful tapestry of a tale about...okay, it's been everywhere so there's no need to go on about it here.

To say Beyoncé might be upset at...someone...is so obvious it's a "does a bear sh** in the woods"/"is the pope catholic" situation. But that doesn't mean she can't construct a musical world that is intriguing and so easily listenable it becomes addictive.

Lemonade has way too much hype around it for me to talk about its subject matter, but if there's anyone that can take a sensitive situation--whether that's infidelity, police brutality, or race relations--it's Beyoncé. Her deftness and talent are kept so low-key, it's astonishing for the exact opposite reason her music normally is; here Beyoncé blends into the beautiful background while still providing that pop her fans have come to expect.

This is also her most experimental album, using sounds from genres as disparate as Nashville-country and dub-electronic, and none of them seem to clash. Lemonade flows superbly from one song to the next without ever losing sight of the goal: to construct a concept album that highlights the intimate problems the even a very public person has to deal with.

Without getting to repetitive, we can easily say that, with all her talent and her ear for that same talent in others (Jack White, The Weeknd, and James Blake all make appearances here), when life gives Beyoncé lemons, she makes...well, you get the idea.

Beyoncé's Lemonade is only available for streaming on Tidal. You can find it here.

New Music (4.29.2016)

Sturgill Simpson
A Sailor's Guide to Earth

It's not often we review country here at The Conquest of Gaul, but every once in a great while, a piece of art is so beautiful that it's impossible to ignore. Such is Sturgill Simpson's A Sailor's Guide to Earth.

To be honest, the last time something even remotely country popped up on this blog would have been Amy Lavere's absolutely brilliant Americana record, Stranger Me, back in 2011, where it also ended up in the Top 10 of the year. Simpson's work here inspires just as much admiration for what can be done in the genre, and saddens me to think of all the wasted opportunities other artists have let slip by, writing the same blase psuedo-country since Dollywood opened.

A Sailor's Guide to Earth isn't just a collection of various amazing songs performed at such a high level it makes your jaw drop. No, it's also that loftiest of nigh-unattainable albums (at least in this genre with a dearth of creativity)--the concept album.

The plot laid out by the title, as well as the opening track, "Welcome to Earth (Pollywog)" is simple: if you have to leave something behind to explain to your progeny how to navigate this mortal plane--physically as well as morally--what will that manual look like? Simpson's version is an aural wonder, confirming that the "outlaw" and "alternative" forms of country need not be so disparate, nor their combination be so dreary (as his previous album, Metamodern Sounds in Country Music was).

But while Simpson's tone is lifted here, he doesn't dissuade the listener from taking a trip down the long rabbit hole, even if that means hitting bottom. Instead, he encourages the journey--the journey of life--no matter where it might lead. A beautiful assertion indeed.



P.S. There's an absolutely amazing cover of Nirvana's "In Bloom" on here. In terms of covers, it's bested only by Eagles of Death Metal's "Save a Prayer" from last year.

The Prince Is Dead. Long Live the Prince. (4.25.2016)

I'm not a fine enough writer or journalist to eulogize a person as ingenious, unique, and groundbreaking as Prince. So instead, I will simply describe my favorite song of the Purple One's and feebly attempt to explain why I think it's his standout best amongst a mountain of insanely original, catchy pop-funk songs.

That song is 1982's "Automatic," originally appearing on that year's 1999, Prince's breakthrough album. Certainly he had singles in years past that put him in the charts, but nothing to that point would quite reach the zeitgeist that was his fifth album, and artistic masterpiece.

And, certainly, 1999 included many singles itself that were much more well known and successful: "1999" for one, "Little Red Corvette," "Delirious." However, "Automatic" is a technical marvel, and a musical wonder.

At nearly 10 minutes you would expect artsy noodling, but not a single note is wasted. Sonically, it includes speak-singing, electroclash beats, pitch-shifted lyrics, a disturbing loop of caterwauling lamentations, and a false ending. With those ingredients, the best any musician could hope to come up with is a very bad Pink Floyd tribute.

But Prince isn't any musician. He's Prince, and he doesn't just take that mess and turn it into a workable song...he turns it into THE BEST F***ING SONG.  You swing your hips, find yourself singing along, and pray to the great God above that it never ends.

I would be remiss if I didn't make a favorable comparison to David Bowie. Prince is perhaps...no, he is the only artist I can use to make that comparison and not just mean "like David Bowie during a specific period," but instead mean "he IS David Bowie, just born a decade later." One day, Prince was tired of funk and wanted to make electronic dance music, so he did. Then he was tired of that and wanted to make rock music.

So he did.

Prince is the billboard of the 1980's, neon and overshadowing everything in the landscape. He's the only artist to compete with Michael Jackson for space on the charts, and was maybe even better at cultivating his public image.

"Automatic" is not a standard Prince song, but what was ever "standard" about Prince? Instead, it proves he is a musical genius of the highest order, unifying fans of disparate genres and warping the laws of time and space. It is a tour de force, a masterwork. "Automatic" is perfect.

Long live Prince.

Prince (or his publisher) has removed most of his music from streaming services. You can buy (or free sample) 1999 from Tidal to hear "Automatic," or watch the original NSFW video (slightly shortened version) here.

New Music: Open Mike Eagle (3.28.2016)

Open Mike Eagle & Paul White

Hella Personal Film Festival

If Kanye has disappointed you lately (don't worry, it's happened to everyone), and you pine for the good-old days of his college trilogy (College Dropout, Late Registration, and Graduation), arguably his best work, then the collaboration of LA-via-Chicago-based rapper Open Mike Eagle and British producer Paul White will blow your mind.

Hella Personal Film Festival is the best possible combination of 70s-era samples and rhymes that bring TV On The Radio's Tunde Adebimpe to the front of your mind, and will keep you coming back for more rewarding listens. That's not to say Mike Eagle doesn't have his own voice; in Film Festival, his storytelling talent is on full display. Never repetitive, he pays those listeners willing to dive in and make the full commitment to album-long listening back.

Teaming up with Paul White is an inspired choice, and we are very much the better for it. The platforms he creates for Eagle to deliver upon are strong, challenging, and engrossing. Hella Personal Film Festival is an album that demands multiple listens; it is sprawling and difficult to unpack. But your recompense for such fastidious concentration is the joy of hearing musical and lyrical proficiency so excellent, you could swear you were part of its creation.

New Music: Underworld (3.22.2016)

Underworld
Barbara Barbara, We Face a Shining Future

As the Conquest of Gaul is trying to write more--and more varied--reviews, today we also take a look at one of the titans of the electronic genre, Underworld.  Their first album in more than half a decade is the fantastically titled Barbara Barbara, We Face a Shining Future, supposedly named for principal producer Rick Smith's father's last words: a sentiment both sad and immensely inspiring.

What the title phrase conjures in the mind is exactly what the album sounds like--understated, but still bursting from the seams with hope. Almost excessively elemental for Brit-electronica, Barbara Barbara is full of all the familiar, well-trodden sounds from the heady days of "Cowgirl" and "Born Slippy.NUXX," but somehow is able to combine them in such new and interesting ways that, even clocking under 45 minutes, it feels overly-generous, like receiving a gift you really don't deserve.

As a return-to-form, Barbara Barbara, We Face a Shining Future is a masterpiece, providing any longtime fan with far more than they could ask for; but it is also such an interesting and expansive new take for a late-period album that it deserves vast dissemination to the uninitiated. It builds and builds until, finally, at the triumphant end, Underworld transform their work into a powerful statement on optimism and grace.

New Music: Iggy Pop (3.18.2016)

Iggy Pop
Post Pop Depression

Perhaps the greatest crime in music history is forgetting that, while David Bowie and Brian Eno heavily edited and influenced Iggy Pop's 1977 album, The Idiot, Iggy Pop was still there. The story is usually told as two geniuses using a punk rocker as their personal tool. The truth is much more fun: that that guy who rips his shirt off at a moment's notice, is still "heroin-thin" even after being clean for over 20 years, and does that weird hipshake dance like Elvis with seasonal-affective disorder, is secretly a musical wunderkind, constantly bouncing off collaborators while simultaneously influencing them.

Such is the amazing, wonderful, and totally fun Post Pop Depression. No album has given me such anxiety in waiting for it. At the time of its announcement, I was so excited--one of my favorite bands ever, Queens of the Stone Age (or more specifically it's founder, Josh Homme) would be collaborating with the Prince of Punk, Iggy Pop for, perhaps, his final album. Then...the ever-looming spectre...Metallica and Lou Reed. If this last Iggy album ended up like that shambling thing-that-should-not-be, I might just stop listening to music. Time to invest in some audiobooks. Goodbye iPod (yes, I still have one of those). Return the turntable. Put the CD's on eBay and Amazon. Cancel the Spotify subscription.

I am so very, very happy to announce, Post Pop Depression is a masterpiece. It is one of my favorite albums to listen to in several years, and I've done so nearly constantly since the NPR early stream was made available. Pop's vocal delivery--that warbling baritone--fits so perfectly with Homme's desert-garage-rock instrumentation, it's almost hard to describe. Basically, other than Funhouse and The Idiot, this is the album Iggy Pop was meant to make.

Every part is executed to perfection: obviously Pop's off-the-cuff singing, Homme's guitar and backing vocals (and production), Dean Fertita's...all the insturments, and Arctic Monkeys' Matt Helders' drums all fit so well that the result is a seamless musical tapestry. The supporting roles in this album are almost as exciting as the main feature; with a very QOTSA/Arctic Monkeys sound, songs like "Gardenia" and "Sunday" are given a brilliance to what would otherwise be dull, slow burns in anyone else's hands.

But don't think Homme's presence means it's all party all the time. Pop is still punk after all, and he expresses his rage quite often. Album closer "Paraguay" ends in an amazing rant that would make Lewis Black blush, and it's backed by an insane guitar riff and calmly delivered chorus that slowly fades until you realize you're yelling too.

As a final farewell to the music business, Post Pop Depression is undeniably sexy, fun, and solid gold. What it's not, however, is a lament. This is a primal scream, the last one that defies the laws of the universe and dares them to try and stop it. Despite having never heard an Iggy Pop album like this, this is definitely a very Iggy Pop album, like it's the one he's been waiting to make his whole life. Post Pop Depression shows that with the right framework, he can take what easily could have been a dirge and turn it into a celebration of what it means to be alive.

New Music: The Day of Many Albums (3.11.2016)

So, I have been very derelict on my music reviewing duties. To make it up, the following are snippets of albums that came out recently that I should have reviewed, but now all at once!

Trust me, it's gonna be great...

Anderson .Paak
Malibu

This is premium R&B. As the Who would say, "maximum R&B," except actual R&B, not like the Who. Not that the Who aren't awesome and haven't earned the right to call their music whatever they want. Okay, we got off on a tangent there, but we can save this...Anderson .Paak knows what he's doing, is what I'm saying. Having spent years producing the albums of various high-profile hip-hop and R&B stars, this marks a true revelation. Like D'Angelo's album last year (technically 2014, but let's not get picky), this is one of the most emotional and heartfelt albums you'll hear.

Steven Wilson
4½

I apparently missed the hubbub that was Wilson's Hand. Cannot. Erase. last year, and now I'm very sorry I did. This fast-paced, highly technical, but still very light-feeling rock album is one of the better things I've heard come out of the whole "singer-songwriter" scene a few years. Wilson combines the mystique of Steely Dan with the beauty of Sufjan Stevens and the head-on approach of a Paul Weller or a Foo Fighter(s?). It's also a breezy 37 minutes, perfect for your morning commute, and will get you pumped for your day.

Suede
Night Thoughts

Have you ever heard an album so amazing on first listen, your jaw drops? That album is Night Thoughts. After being defined by David Bowie's influence, Suede released perhaps their best album mere weeks after the legend's death, and it is a fitting eulogy. The glam rock spectacle on showcase here is absolutely fabulous, and their alt-rocker chops aren't even remotely questionable either. This is the sound that filled 1,000 arenas, and the first three songs might be the best opening trio in well over a decade. Seriously people, Suede. Suede is awesome.

(P.S. As I mentioned on Twitter earlier this week, Spotify calls them "The London Suede", which is confusing to say the least, but in case you actually want to hear this album, which you definitely must, look there.)

(P.P.S. Also, the album cover is bad-ass. Look at that thing, it's ridiculously cool.)

Money
Suicide Songs

Besides being very, very, VERY, depressingly named, I wasn't really sure what to expect from an album titled Suicide Songs, besides it being a little on-the-nose. Boy was I wrong. Money is the great-grandchild of Echo & The Bunnymen's Ocean Rain coupling with The Beatles more experimental songs, like "Tomorrow Never Knows" or "Within You Without You." It's equal parts gorgeous string arrangements and mind-bending songwriting. Expertly performed and recorded, Suicide Songs isn't nearly as depressing as it could be...on the surface, but it is indeed a romantic miserablism, the thing you listen to both to reassure yourself that love is real and to remind yourself that it's for suckers at the same time.

DIIV
Is the Is Are

This album has been in the works so long, I almost forgot DIIV existed, save for a few lazy scrolls through the ol' iPod. But finally, the new record is upon us, and Is the Is Are doesn't disappoint. While the new sound eschews a lot of the hazy backfill that so heavily defined Oshin, the driving bass lines and jangling guitars are still as prominent as ever. DIIV is still one of the most exciting and creative bands in the indie rock arena, and the flawless Is the Is Are is proof that sometimes, just maybe, good things really do come to those who wait.

Kanye West
The Life of Pablo

I've defended Kanye for a really long time, saying that almost anything is worth the price of genius. Yeezus proved my point even better than I could have hoped; seeing an artist so well-known for a particular sound to turn the world on it's ear like that was both intriguing and genuinely fun to hear. That defense is getting much harder these days, as the man's apparent unhinged-ness is so ever-present it's impossible not to start making Syd Barrett comparisons. The Life of Pablo didn't help my case either. Sure, it's a return to form, and yeah it's nice to hear Kanye do what he does best: sample soul records and orchestral movements to perfect effect as backing loops. But the rap is becoming so lazy it's hard to stick with this album all the way through. Certainly, Kanye can write, rap, and produce nearly everyone else in the industry out of a job, but this just isn't up to his (admittedly, overly) high standard. Maybe take a break, raise the kids, go back to Paris for a while. You've done way more than anyone else could hope to accomplish, let your work speak for itself for a time. I promise people won't forget you.

(P.S. "FML" is one of the best-produced songs you've ever created. Hold off making another album until you get one full of songs like that.)

Animal Collective
Painting With

You know, how a TV show can long exceed it's necessary length? Like how House of Cards followed Kevin Spacey until he became president and now...why are we still watching? Or how Homeland (SPOILER ALERT) killed off the main antagonist and yet still exists? That's what Animal Collective is now, a group of people trying to keep a good thing going that was only meant to last a certain time. Merriweather Post Pavillion is a masterpiece of songwriting and technique. Painting With...is not those things, but it's trying really hard to be. I won't dismiss the album entirely because the ideas are there, but when something's done, it's done, you know?

Kendrick Lamar
Untitled. Unmastered.

This. This is what dedication to craft and the erasure of all distractions can get you. Kendick has now, alone, taken over the throne of hip-hop. If for no reason other than his To Pimp a Butterfly definitely marked the first time white hipsters complained about a rap album NOT getting the Grammy for Best Album. The production and near-unbelievable level of quality in beats and rhymes hasn't dropped a step since his first mixtape, and Kendrick shows no sign of slowing down. I mean, obviously, he released an album of entirely "untitled" songs less than a year after his magnum opus, and it's as good ans anything else he's made. Kendrick Lamar is statistically impossible, and his uncanny ability to create would be infuriating if it wasn't so damn awe-inspiring.

New Music (2.01.2016)

Savages
Adore Life

Does music still surprise you? Not a particular act or sound, but the very concept of it? How something as simple as hitting and pulling objects in a specific timing and stretching the vocal chords at specific intervals can evoke the deepest emotions and bring up memories long forgotten?

Savages tap into that primal urge to make music as a form or expression--not artistic expression per se, but the expulsion of feeling, like a scream you've waited too long to unleash. Adore Life is as pure an expression of that urge as has been made, and it's darkest corners invoke the dread that haunts even the most optimistic of us.

Savages' version post-punk isn't nearly as lyrical or lilting as Protomartyr's ode to Joy Division, but closer to the frenetic and random explosiveness of Wire or Swans mixed with the volume of My Bloody Valentine. Jehnny Beth's vocals are a screamed mix of Bjork and Beach House, the perfect counterpoint to the whirling cacophony they soar over. The staggered delivery of "I Need Something New," or the more mainstream, calm crooning of "Adore" highlight her talent equally, and are the perfect examples of how odd and beautiful are often one and the same.

There's still plenty of year to go, but Savages have asserted themselves as the cream of the crop and will be difficult to topple.